THE TOP TEN REASONS NOT TO TRY CHIROPRACTIC...

10. "I like my left shoulder higher than my right."
You're not alone. Take a look around you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice how out of balance many people are. I know a good tailor who can cover it up for you.

9. "The tingling and numbness in my fingers is actually starting to feel good."
Great, get used to it. It will get worse. Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll have surgery to correct it someday.

8. "These headaches I have every day are normal. They say so on the aspirin ad on TV."
And the drug companies are very glad you are listening to them. Without your help they would not be making multi-billion dollars of profits from over-the-counter drugs.

7. "Real doctors give people shots."
Most doctors of chiropractic give people shots. . . of hope and enthusiasm that maybe there is a reason and a solution to their problems that 10 doctors and 20 prescriptions have not fixed.

6. "My mom doesn't believe in it."
Get your mom a dictionary and look it up for her. It's between chimney-sweeps and churches. And yes, Virginia, not only is chiropractic real, it's getting more popular every day.

5. "A friend of a guy I work with said his aunt's sister-in-law's older brother was hurt by a chiropractor."
Who is this person anyway, if he does exist? And don't forget the eighty-thousand -plus people who die in hospitals from something they didn't have when they checked in. Incidentally, chiropractic malpractice premiums are less than my car insurance.

4. "These pills make me feel good. What was the question?"
As long as you aren't using your brain anyway, don't worry if it doesn't function with those drugs. Nobody will miss your insights into living to your full potential.

3. "My insurance agent thinks chiropractors are quacks."
Tell her to be careful. A chiropractor back East was awarded $150,000 after suing an insurance agent who called him a quack.

2. "My neck feels fine, so what if I can't turn to the left. It'll get better."
Yeah, right about the time you get hit by a car coming from the left when you're taking one of those 3 right turns to go round the block. Chiropractic helps restore full motion and improves that field of view.

(a drum roll please). . . And now, the number one reason not to try chiropractic . . .
1. "Surgery makes more sense to me. I've already had my gallbladder out. Who needs these organs anyway?"
You're right. A poor design, only to be improved upon by removing all the internal parts and replacing them with plastic and pills. Of course, there's always more money to be made in fixing a broken car than in regular maintenance. I'm just one of those crazy people who believes in changing the oil before the engine blows up.